Tuesday 12/25
- I was called at work. Dad in ER with MI, chest pain, CHF in Lansdale – for transfer to Abington for cardiac cath. Met him at AMH that night. Awake and oriented. Mild resolving shortness of breath. Mom slept over.
Wednesday 12/26
- met them in pre-Cath Lab 0730A for procedure. Spoke with doc momentarily but unable to sway or cancel cath.
- took picture pre-procedure to show all he was well.
“Okay, but tell them the smile is fake”
- cath showed 94% occlusion of LAD. Stent placed. Restless with mild disorientation during procedure.
- increasing confusion while on 6 hours of bedrest with sandbag to groin post cath.
- Connie and Jon visited and Mom went home to rest.
- Connie spent night with scary long episode of confusion, hostile affect. Resolved and forgotten by morning
Thursday 12/27 –
- relieved Connie and spent the day with Dad.
- blood draws, cxr, bedside ultrasound.
- Dr. Fireman called. Cath was difficult but successful but “your father is sick”. No ventricular pressure, lumen of AV minute, EF at 12%. Requested hospice palliative care and d/c when possible.
- Mom and Connie returned
- when ambulating to chair from bathroom, with Connie, Mom and I sitting, sudden cardiac arrest in chair. I called for help to no avail so called for CODE 30, despite DNR status. Nurse and I threw Dad to bed and I left the room when his internal defibrillator kicked in and he gained consciousness before any resuscitation had begun. When I returned to clarify DNR, Dad was awake.
- When crowd cleared and he was resting still on bed, I asked him how he stays so calm through all this – “Kelly, I am 85. This is the end game. Now I am not looking forward to it”.
- All were called with dad’s critical condition. DNR, no unit transfer, no dopamine for pressure. Bedrest with IVF for dangerously low BP. Increasing restlessness through night.
- Jon, Connie, Hayley, Allison, Mom, Jeff and I visited.
- when discussing d/c for am, “Have you told all your siblings? I don’t want any fist fights”. After laughter, “At least I didn’t lose my wit”
- with troubling filling in menu and awaiting kitchen worker at bedside. “You know I used to be smart. I was educated in an ivy league college, Cornell”.
- Mom and I stayed the night. Horrible respiratory distress through night. Difficulty getting orders, meds, docs, return pages, med administration. Not tolerating nasal O2.
Frightening episode of angry restlessness – thrashing, angry, swinging, unconsolable. Walked the halls in w/c. Questioned and talked and called cathy to orient, calm down.
Friday 12/28 –
- Mom and I left at 900am with Dad horrifically restrained in Geri chair.
- Later clearer, more cooperative, in wheelchair at desk with nurses,
-To PT to assess for discharge. Connie in attendance. He ambulates, more cooperative.
- Connie, Jon and Susan arrange d/c home.
- Once home O2 set up, Jeff, Jon, Susan settle him in. Lethargic, weak, pale,
- Visit later that night. Jon and Jeff to spend the night.
Saturday 12/29 -
- I return at 1030. Jeff had left. Sherona had arrived and seems incompetent with personal care at first. After we considered sending her home, when I return to bedroom, dad in chair and with weak, soft voice says, “that, that woman is nice”. She stays and is kind and loving.
- Jon leaves.
- Connie returns.
- Cathy calls.
- Kerry calls. “me too, honey.” “You coming home? Good”
- surge of color, more alert, requests eggs and bacon. The power of love. He is waiting for his girls to come home.
- When I was sitting in office chair, sad realization that dad may never sit in this chair again. But later when left alone with aide, requests to walk. While heading out to living room, says “no, in here”
- Sits at desk. And then gives me greatest gift. He watches his video on computer. Awake, cognitive, watching and understanding the video. Connie, Mom and I cuddle around him. Connie says, “She should be a photographer” . He says, “Absolutely”
- Sits at desk. And then gives me greatest gift. He watches his video on computer. Awake, cognitive, watching and understanding the video. Connie, Mom and I cuddle around him. Connie says, “She should be a photographer” . He says, “Absolutely”
- Back to bedroom chair. Weak. Paler. Eyes closed.
- “Sit Ye Here” and indeed I did.
- I wander parking lot, numb with disbelief.
- New aide arrives. Marium.
- dad weak and resting/sleeping most of night in chair.
Unable to rest in bed.
Sunday – 12/30
- Unresponsive since 4am.
- Jon and susan and boys come by. Donuts, coffee. Connie made an egg dish. House is tidy and warm. Scent of food and coffee permeate. News show on TV. A Sunday Dad would love. But he’s nonverbal, weak, short of breath and actively dying.
- awaiting cathy’s arrival at noon.
- Caitlin and Jason arrive noon.
- Kerry and family to arrive at 830PM.
- Respirations shallow. Taking nothing by mouth. Mouth care by nurse only. O2 on.
- Hayley and Alison here.
- Adam calls.
- Cathy and Devan and Kevin arrive.
- Kerry and Steve arrive.
- all waiting and visiting and hoping and crying and loving.
- labored breathing around 10pm. Morphine administration begins.
We sit, we cry, we watch, we wait, we bathe him in love.
- Jon serenades him with Sweet Baby James.
- 1AM - funeral director leaves complex with dad. Stand on patio and watch him drive away.
Monday – 12/31
- meet at funeral home to plan service –
WALTER JOSEPH, of Lansdale on December 30, 2012 at the age of 85. Beloved husband of Grace (nee Lynch);
beloved father of Catherine Collins, Kerry Beltz (Steve), Kelly Collins, Connie Brick (Kevin), Jeffrey Collins (Theresa),
Jon Collins (Susan). He will be missed by 16 loving grandchildren. His Memorial Service will be held on Wednesday
January 2nd, 2013 at 4 P.M. at SHAEFF-MYERS Funeral Home at 145 Tennis Avenue, Ambler.
Friends and relatives are invited to visit with family at 3 P.M. preceding the service. Interment private.
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- later at Kerry’s for snacks and drinks – cathy, Kerry, steve, mom, conor, Kelly, connie, kevin.
- head home with Devan. Heaven sent she is.
Tuesday – 1/1/13
- work all day on memorial service – bookmarks (by Jessie via staples), Movie to 7 discs (devan was steady and amazing and focused and a delight), program designed with glitch. Neighbore Jessie kindly redoes it and will have ready in am.
- connie here to bring home devan.
Wednesday – 1/2/13
- driving to service
- Service – beautiful, moving, simple
- Grandkids bring the house down with love and emotion and beautiful readings.
- Reception at William Penn Inn.
Thursday – 1/3/13
All is said and done –
Life moves on -
Now the hard part –
Living life without our hero, our friend, our Dad!
I believe your Dad is proud to know how much his family loved him, not just throughout his life, but in his final hours. You have been blessed to have such a Father.
ReplyDeletethank you for your kind words. We were lucky to have him all these years. He was an amazing, kind, loving man.
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