Beloved

 Beloved 

It is hard to believe half a year has gone by since we said goodbye to Dad.  In some ways, it seems so long ago since we heard his husky quiet laugh or enjoyed his warm, easy, interested company, with even the sound of his voice, becoming a distant memory.  But in other ways it seems like just yesterday that a constant in our lives, the glue of the family, the leader of the band, was abruptly and quickly, yet elegantly and with great grace, taken from us forever.  

We all joined to say a final goodbye - with our last Father's Day with Dad - at his sacred ground - Peace Valley Park in Bucks County, Pa.

                                    





The raw sting of his loss, with time, has since been replaced by a quiet ache and a forever daily reminder of the man.  The event was as Mom said, just what Dad would have enjoyed - A pleasant Family Picnic. 

Young and old gathered -
Varied Pups wandered -
Way too much food was offered -
The weather - a pleasant balmy breezy Sunday afternoon.
The mood - respectful of event - but not morose and maudlin.

When bikers and walkers had passed - we gathered quietly to scatter some ashes by the waters edge.
A poem sent from Cathy was read by my sister Connie -

                And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so?

                                I did.

                And what did you want?

                               To call myself beloved,
                               To feel myself  beloved on the earth

                                                      - Raymond Carver

Our glasses were raised for a toast to a great man and a loving, kind father...

Beloved You Were Dad! 

We Love You

And for just one more time -

Happy Father's Day!   

Uncontrolled Altitude Deviation November 1963

 

When you travel on airlines you will recall that there is always an announcement after takeoff  “The seat belt sign has been turned off.  However we request you keep your seat

belt loosely fastened while in your seat”  I was on the flight where that rule originated and it was quite an exciting experience.  I thought I should get it written down while I can still remember it.

We were living in Nanuet and I was working for a chemical company in NYC at the time.  They had just opened a subsidiary in Mexico City and this was my first visit.   I took the limousine from Nanuet to Idlewild (now JFK)  It was called Idlewild because Jack Kennedy still had thirteen days to live.

The flight to Mexico City, on Eastern Airlines, was with one stop in Houston and it departed on time.  The equipment was a Douglas DC-8, # N8603.  The pilot was Capt Mel French and the co-pilot was First Officer Kirby.  French was one of the most senior and capable pilots in the Eastern fleet.  He was 52 years old and had logged 24,907 hours and that was a good thing because this flight would require some very creative and  complicated piloting.  We landed in Houston on time and topped off the fuel tanks and took off for Mexico City.  The weather was calm with heavy cloud cover up to 30,000 feet. 

The seat belt sign was turned off  at about 10,000 feet.  We were climbing through 25,000 feet when it happened.  A component in the tail assembly called the pitch trim compensator malfunctioned and threw the plane into a steep climb.  French couldn’t see the horizon so he was not immediately aware of what was happening.  It was such a steep climb that the plane quickly stalled and nosed over into free fall.  I had kept my seat belt fastened (about half did and half didn’t)  I will guess that there were about 100 aboard and when the nose began to fall, those unfastened made an astonishing sight as they floated gently up to the ceiling.  When they reached the ceiling they were pasted there and they stayed there for the next 20,000 feet.

I was seated by the window just behind the port-side engines.  It didn’t take long to know what was happening.  There was a rapid build-up of the shrill power-dive shriek that said we were in trouble.  I watched the engines and saw a round component sliding back over them.These were the thrust reversers.  I read later that we had reached a speed of  800 miles an hour going down and if French had not immediately activated the thrust reversers we would have been smeared all over Texas.  As it was we only missed it by 6 seconds.  I also read later that French wrote the book on the way down.  I’m glad he was a quick study.

The 20,000 foot power dive, I think, took about 20-30 seconds.  In those circumstances one must consider the possibility that things may not work out.  Jeff had just been born and Grace would be left with five young children to raise.  It is said that in high stress situations people are capable of unusual accomplishment.  I proved that to myself.  After the usual regrets, I calculated our net worth.  I needed to know how much they would have to get by.  It was not a large net worth but it was reasonably complicated.

I started with the allowable settlement from the airline.  It was printed on the ticket that under the Warsaw Convention on international flights the limit of liability for the Airline was $7,189.  I added insurance from my employer and doubled it for accidental death.  I added in the vested portion of the pension plan and a small veteran life insurance. The equity in the house was tricky.  I had to appraise the value and calculate the amount of the mortgage after the last payment.  Add in our savings and checking accounts and that was about it.  I did it later with a desk calculator and it took about half an hour, but I came within $10 of what I had calculated on the way down.  

By the time I had done my bookkeeping, we had reached 6,000 feet and the thrust reversers had slowed us down and French managed to pull it out into level flight.  There was a snap and a lurch as we came out which signaled the tearing away of the port inboard engine.  It struck the tail assembly as it went by, causing unknown damage.  As we pulled out, those passengers on the ceiling came crashing down on the deck and the seats.  There were a lot of injuries from that, including I think 18 broken bones.  Some of the broken bones belonged to the flight attendants, but they continued with their duties.  They were spunky women. There was some screaming and moaning from the injured but not much.  I have seen the comment often that behavior in airplane emergencies is very restrained.  That was certainly true here.  There was no screaming or hysteria; except for the injured. We just sat back and waited.  I’m sure everyone was terrified, but there was nothing that they could do so we just sat.

There was silence from the flight deck for a while but then French came on “Well folks I think we have things under control now here on the flight deck.  We will have to return to Barksdale Air Force Base to land on their extra long runway.  We will also need to circle

and  dump most of our fuel.  I will keep you advised”  As he said this French had to deal with a lot of unknowns:  How much damage to the tail assembly; how to steer and fly on three engines and a damaged tail; was the air frame twisted out of shape; would the wheels come down; could he stop the plane on the runway with only two engines in reverse and brakes that would surely burn out?  However he sounded cheerful and that’s all we could ask of him.

I don’t think it took too long to get back to the vicinity of Barksdale.  As we circled to dump the fuel an Air Force jet fighter came up and flew close under the port wing.  An observer in the back seat with binoculars reported what he could see of the condition of the exterior of the plane and the stump of the departed engine.  It was comforting to know that the Air Force was on the case.  We could see below that ambulances and crash vehicles were stretched all along the runway.

After what seemed forever French came back to us.  “OK folks we have finished dumping the fuel and Barksdale is ready for us.  We’re going in now.  Cabin crew prepare for an emergency landing”  I forget what all the preparations were but I think shoes off and head between the knees was part of it.  You may have heard the phrase “full flaps”  The flaps are on the trailing edge of the wing and are normally extended 20-30 degrees down to slow the plane in its approach.  These were the fullest flaps I have ever seen.  They were extended down to a full right angle to the wing.  It looked like the wing was coming apart.

But we still flew on—no wheels yet.   Then we heard the grinding noise as the undercarriage deployed and then the satisfying “thunk” as the wheels locked in place.

The landscape began to flash by and then the head of the runway---it was now time for  head between the knees.  With benefit of the full flaps and his own exceptional skill,   Capt French brought us down to the gentlest, smoothest landing  I have ever experienced. We could barely feel the wheels touching down.  He immediately shut down one of the starboard engines and put the remaining two in full reverse thrust. At first- nothing, but  soon we could feel the plane slowing  and then there erupted the most enthusiastic cheering and clapping that I have ever heard and it went on for some time.

He stopped the plane on the runway and we were immediately surrounded by Air Force vehicles.  The medics came aboard and tended to the injured and carried them to the  ambulances.  The rest of us filed out and shook hands with French and Kirby.  French was completely composed as if he had just made a routine landing.  Kirby however looked as if someone had thrown a pail of water over him.  He was soaked in perspiration.

The Air Force treated us royally.  They opened the Officers Club bar and dining room to us and made telephones available. I tried to call Grace but she was not in so I called our next door neighbors, the Blackman’s, to get the word that I was OK  Eastern Airlines emergency crews arrived shortly and made room arrangements for us and Air Force people took us in their cars to the motels.  I discovered a fellow that worked in the floor below in New York  so we were company for each other.

The next day Eastern made a special flight available to us to Mexico City for late morning departure.  I thought about checking the train and bus schedules, but decided that chances for  two accidents in a row were pretty remote, so I climbed aboard and have been flying without incident ever since.

There are some sequels to this:

-Three months later on Feb 24  1964 the same flight, but a different DC 8, had the same accident.  There was a different pilot but  Kirby was the co-pilot.  This time they could not pull out and they crashed into Lake Pontchetrain.  I have wondered about Kirby’s thoughts on the second trip down.  The pitch trim compensator was blamed again

-For several years I flew, comforted by the statistical   improbability of being in two airplane accidents.  However I made the mistake of telling this to a statistician who corrected me “You have the same probability of being in an accident as every one else aboard.  The plane doesn’t know that you have already been in an accident”  I guess Kirby’s fate proved that out.

-Later in November, airlines adopted the rule about keeping seat belts fastened.

The passengers and crew of  DC 8 #N8603 had made the point.

My Tribute to Love - Grace Collins

As time goes by I cry and sigh,

And remember the reasons for being alive.

 

As we journeyed side by side

for the 59 years we were groom and bride,

I knew that something good couldn't last forever

and that we'd have to part and no longer be together.

 

I look back at all the good times,

the family that we had,

and handled all the action - both good and bad.

 

When you love someone and they love you too,

you don't have to hug and squeeze.

Just being together is enough to please.

 

We traveled afar to so many places -

Italy, England, Ireland, lived in BC as well.

Met so many nice friends and saw such wonderful sights.

We lived a full life and did things just right. 

 

So in recent years we didn't travel too far,

but stayed home and enjoyed it all.

Family and friends we would enjoy and partake

and sit side by side or go to the lake

We'd go to the park and play Scrabble at a table

and then take a walk for as long as we were able.

.

I don't recall an incident or a story I could tell,

because it's just the little things we both enjoyed so well.

Like the food to fix and things he'd need,

clothing or snacks or books to read,

gave me the satisfaction of fulfilling, then as always,

just whatever I could do.

 

I'm trying very hard to fill the hours and minutes,

But every time I look around he's right here in it.

His bed and chair are empty, but my heart is oh so full,

of the love I still have for him and know I always will.

 

Readings from the Memorial

Adam

"SONNET 30"
When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past, 
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought, 
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow, 
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancell'd woe, 
And moan the expense of many a vanish'd sight: 
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone, 
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er 
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan, 
Which I new pay as if not paid before. 
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.



Caitlin

 

Philippians 4:8-9 New International Version (NIV)

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Conor

My name is Conor Beltz and I am one of Walter’s 16 grandchildren. I learned a lot from my grandfather. He was always very positive and always treated everyone with the utmost respect. He had a great mind, which remained sharp and alert for his entire life. He was a true leader, one that brought the family together to form one cohesive unit. I always remember the many parties in Maple Glenn, and croquet games we played together. Pa taught us how to work hard and achieved so much. I loved hearing his many stories about his unique childhood in Long Island, New York. His vast knowledge of history helped inspire me to study the discipline in college, though he subtly enforced the fact that I was not so smart in doing so. My grandfather inspired us in many ways. I know he was happy to have lived such a long and prosperous life, and we are all grateful for all he gave to us.   

Emily

Success:

To laugh often and much.

to win the respect of intelligent people

and affection of children; to earn the

appreciation of honest critics and

endure the betrayal of false friends;

to appreciate beauty, to find the best

in others; to leave the world a bit

better, whether by a healthy child

a garden patch or redeemed

social condition; to know even

one life has breathed easier because

you have lived. This is to have

succeeded.

Michael

I never knew Pa as well as I’d like to. That’s because I am one of the youngest of Pa’s 16 grandchildren.  I will remember him as my grandfather that loved and cared for me. That would talk to me about the wars he’s been in and the medals he was awarded. I remember when me, my brother joey, Allison, and Hayley would go on picnics right by a big lake. We would play tag and maybe some fun board games. I remember we found a tree that reminded us of the Winnie the Poo tree. I remember Pa as a fun grandfather that was full of fun facts that would make all of us say “ huh, I never knew that.” Pa was an amazing grandfather that made me feel like I was in the times that he would tell us about. I will always remember Pa not only as my grandfather but as the person that has been through thick and has been through thin. The person that I think made us all feel like more than family.

Joey

Pa loved nature and we would go on many hikes so I thought this poem would be nice to remember him;

Remember me:

To the living, I am gone.

To the sorrowful, I will never return.

To the angry, I was cheated.

But to the happy, I am at peace.

To the faithful, I have never left.

I cannot be seen, but I can be remembered.

So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea – remember me.

As you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty – remember me.

As you look on a flower and admire its simplicity – remember me.

Remember me in your thought and your memories of the times we loved, the times we cried, the times

we fought, the times we laughed.

For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.

                                                                          Noah

When I was younger I used to love playing chess with Pa.  In my eyes he was the undisputed unbeatable chess master.  I would challenge him to a game any chance I could. My record against him might not have been too great but he let me win a few times.  Playing Pa in chess was one of the fondest memories I have with him, so when I saw this poem it made me think of him.

Dust settled on the chessboard,
the queen and king no longer dance,
through the square green patches on the board.
The gardens are silent with sadness.
The little boy waited for them to awaken
and play hide and seek with the knight and the bishop.
He dreamt,
his mentor gone.
He remembered the wisdom taught,
the lessons of defeat ,
and the triumph of victory.
His grandpa's wisdom,
about the art of living.
His instruction of the game,
his kindness.
The boy became a man,
as he reached for the stars,
as he jumped over the hurdles of life,
he whispered  under his breath, " checkmate. This one is for you grandpa." 

 The Chess Master 1959 - with Kerry 

Laura

Thank you everyone for coming today and for the support and love for my family and I. Even though its a sad day, we must remember the long, wonderful life Pa lived.

Growing up, to me Gram and Pa were the grandparents I saw occasionally and had the Christmas Eve party we all looked forward to every year.

In the past few years though, I've spent more time listening and paying attention to the little details that made Pa the great man he was. Like bringing Gram a glass of lemonade when she didn't even ask for it.

I got to see how much he loved Gram. Just a few months ago I asked Pa to tell me how he proposed, he told me word for word how and when he did it - like it just was yesterday.

I got to learn about his life and hear stories that I will never forget.

Although I will miss him tremendously, I'm so grateful to have had Pa in my life for 25 years, and he will always have a special place in my heart. I know he is watching over all of us, rest in peace.

Hayley and Allison 

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost:

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

How They Met - August 1952

Dad gave Uncle Jack a ride home to Pittsburgh 

on his way home  to New York after army boot camp.

He met Grace.

  He stayed 3 more days to attend Jack's wedding.
 

At the wedding, a photographer stopped to take this picture. 

(probably because they made such a strikingly handsome couple).

 He was 24. 

She was 19.

One year later they were man and wife.

"Photo Shoot" with Mom and Dad - 9/1/12

Recent email to Mom and Dad after they let me practice a "photo shoot"

______________________________

Okay Folks,

I learned a lot of things tonight...

1. Perhaps I should just take pictures as a hobby.  I have a lot to learn.

And not to worry, I won't give up my day job.

2. You two were very disruptive during "the shoot",

did not take this seriously, and did not follow direction well. 

3. But after 59 years of marriage you still hold hands and laugh... a lot... 

 and that is pretty impressive.

4. I had a blast! Thank you for the "photo op".

Love you both,

dearly,

Kelly

_______________________________________________- 

 

..

The OUTTAKES -

where you both behaved very badly...

Dad - "So just what do you want us to do here".

Mom - "Maybe I should pop out of the garden"

Dad -

"So let me get this right .  You want people to pay you to put them through this torture?"

Mom -

 "So you want us to be cute?"

 

Mom -

 "We can't turn around.  Our necks don't do that anymore". 

Thanks folks. 

Had a fabulous time. 

But I think I'll stick to Landscapes - 

Got this on my drive home - a full moon -

(maybe that was the problem!)

 

At his Birthday Surprise 2010

Dad's Eulogy to his Brother Bud

I came here today for Abbey

Recollections of the Korean War

Korean Ware recollections

Long Island History

Hi All,

Through no fault of mine I was born and raised on Long Island among the wealthiest and most powerful people in the US and my father worked for one of them.  Kelly has suggested that I put down some recollections of them, so here goes.

In 1913 my mother emigrated from Ireland (Mayo) and my father emigrated from England (Hertfordshire).  Their reasons were the same as millions of others - lack of opportunity at home and the streets of NY were paved with gold.  In my mother’s case some of the Stauntons and Sweeneys had preceded her and her Uncle, Jim Sweeney met her at the boat.  He was a NYC policeman.  This was the usual route for Irishmen to start the ladder.  He did well and later even had a summer home in upstate NY.

My father headed for Mansfield Ohio where a friend from home had suggested that he could find a job.  This didn't happen so he headed back to NY.  I don't know where he lived but he soon got a job on the estate of one of the Pulitzer publishing family and my mother was hired in the mansion.  English gardners and Irish maids were well regarded by the new rich in America at that time.  The English and the Irish outgrew it.

I don't know which Pulitzer it was but it was one of the sons of Joseph Pulitzer (1886-1911) who had owned the NY WORLD and established the Pulitzer Prize.

They worked there until 1920 during which time they met and married.  In 1920 the Pulitzer couple divorced and they were both laid off.

So one day in 1920 Pa was driving along Powerhouse Rd in Roslyn when he saw a greenhouse under construction and drove up to it.  A well dressed man (, chairman of Anaconda Copper)) was standing there so he went up to him and said that he did that kind of work and was there anything  available.  They talked for a while and then Ryan said "well let's go up to the house and I will call Mrs Pulitzer"

He did make the call and hired him on the spot and Pa stayed there with Ryan and his widow for 40 years.

Ryan was born to a middle class family in Michigan in 1864.  With his partner Percy Rockefeller he was one of the great stock manipulators of the 1920's.  A Senate banking committee called these manipulations the greatest of frauds and  one of the leading causes of the stock market crash in 1929 and the depression that followed.  Ryan and Rockefeller managed to pump Anaconda shares up to $175 but they had dropped to $4 by 1933 and Ryan dropped dead in church. 

So now what.  Mrs Ryan had to decide what to do with Derrymore (130 acres) and the Collins family and the staff of 16 that maintained the rose gardens and lawns and roads.  Most of them were laid off into the Depression

From 1933 until 1960 when she died, Mrs Ryan  stayed in Derrymore only one summer, in 1936.  The estate across the road was owned by Mrs Nicholas Brady who was the widow of the chairman of Consolidated Edison and was also a Papal Duchess because of her generous gifts.  Among  other things she gave every Pope a Cadilac limousine for Christmas

In 1936, Cardinal Eugenio Pacelli  the Vatican Secretary of State visited the US to meet the American cardinals.  The Pope was elderly so I suppose Pacelli was campaigning for the job (three years later he was elected Pope by the College of Cardinals)  The wealthy American Catholics fell over themselves to host his visit and Mrs Brady won.  She allowed Mrs Ryan to have him for one night so a dinner party was arranged and all the wealthy Catholics were invited

Pa went to great lengths to decorate the driveway (1//4 mile)  and made sure to be present when Mrs Brady arrived.  She said "oh Collins it looks like a fairyland"

That was enough for him and he went off to have a few drinks with the chauffeurs. I managed to hide in the bushes and got a glimpse of the cardinal as he went in.   My mother in the meantime was in the kitchen helping the cook prepare the dinner.  It was a pretty loud walk down the hill that night.

I was in Catholic school at the time and the nuns were excited to hear that I had seen the cardinal

There were two hills on Derrymore and in 1926 Ryan built a beautiful second mansion for his only son John Carlos Ryan.  However his wife refused to live next to her in-laws and the house stood vacant until 1938 when Grover Whalen appeared  on the scene. Of all the people in this narrative he was the most likeable and had been described as the best salesman in the country.   He had held a variety.of jobs: He had been Police Commissioner of NYC,  president of Wanamakers, president of Coti perfume and had  been elected president of the 1939 NY Worlds Fair.  The world was just recovering from a depression, there were war clouds all over Europe (Hitler)

and there were doubts that 60 countries would invest the millions needed to build an exhibit.  But he pulled it off and even managed a second year in 1940

Whalen rented the Carlos Ryan house in 1938 and hired Pa to do some work on the grounds. One day I was up there with him when Whalen came out and said

"Walter go around to the kitchen and the cook will give you a drink"  I was 10 years old and astounded.  Why would he bother with me and how did he know my name?

I read later that he knew 5000 people by name and face.  I guess it was just an instinct with him.  At any rate it's 73 years later and I still remember it clearly.

Whalen was a master merchandiser and in 1938 he hired Howard Hughes to fly around the world and advertise the Fair at every stop.  When he got back Hughes was given the ticker tape parade in NY.  Sometimes you will see old newsreels on TV.  If you see Hughes it is Whalen in the car with him.  After the parade Whalen had a reception for him in the house up the hill and he invited us up to have look at the great man.  I got within 10 feet of him.  He was leaning on a stair rail and staring into space and would talk to no one.  Jim was there and he went up to him and asked for his autograph which for some reason he gave him.  I kept it for years but I can't find it now.  Hughes had a reputation for being remote and unapproachable.  I can confirm that.

Another estate nearby  where they had close friends (Walter and Ermini Hobbs) was that of John Hay (Jock) Whitney.  This was a very distinguished American family.  Jock's grand father (John Hay)  had been Lincoln's secretary during the civil war and later was secretary of state. Jock at the time was one of the ten richest men in America.  Whitney was a supporter of President  Eisenhower who appointed him Ambassador to Britain.  This was at the time of the worst relationship between the US and Britain because of a dispute over the Suez Canal.  Whitney as ambassador is credited with repairing that special relationship

I was named after Walter and Ermini was my godmother

.

The story was that in 1920 Walter was standing by the tennis court where Jock's father was playing tennis.  He had a heart attack and Walter was credited with saving his life.  As a result the Hobbs lived quite well for the rest of their lives. They had a fine apartment in the swimming pool building and  I recall we had Thanksgiving dinner with them several times and we were waited on by a maid and butler.  Later they had an apartment at the yacht basin where the APHRODITE was moored.  We visited them once and some of us went aboard.

School for me was part public and part parochial.  Through the eighth grade I went to St Mary's in Manhasset, and for ninth grade I went to St Dominic's in Oyster Bay.  That meant a train ride.  It also meant a coat and tie even on the hottest days of the year.  At the end of the year I went home and said "I won't do it"  So I transferred to Roslyn High School and I had a much happier existence.  I was even elected class president in senior year.

When I graduated in June of 1945, World War II was still underway with no end in sight.  Knowing that I would be drafted I enlisted in the Army for  18 months and got to spend some quality time in the Aleutian Islands (Adak) off the coast of Alaska.  This was one of the most unpleasant places in the Northern Hemisphere.  However this entitled me to the GI Bill of Rights which in turn enabled me to attend Cornell which has been very helpful over the years

Then there has followed in unbelievably rapid succession: a happy marriage of 57 years and counting; 6 children and 15 grandchildren of whom I am very proud; the opportunity to live in many parts of the US and Canada and traveling all over the world except Africa.

This is the end game now and as I look back I think I have experienced most of what is offered  I have had love aplenty but no hate that I am aware of. I have had war that was real...but mostly peace-time.  I have lived in comfort mostly but sometimes in squalor (Aleutions and Korea)  I had a chance for education at one of the best universities. 

I regret that we couldn't do more for education for the six of you.  However I congratulate you on making the very best of what you had and building happy and comfortable lives.